Does Anybody Know?

I stared past my feet, down fifty storeys to the bottom of the building. The ground was so far away, there seemed to be barely an inch of rock between the tower and the edge. And beyond that, only dark clouds swirling in the night sky.
Behind me, the first of the fireworks sounded, a dull pop in the night air. Then another, another, and a whole volley of tiny explosions in the distance. The people gathered on the roof neither gasped nor cheered – it took more than a few pretty lights to excite us out here. But they did watch, eyes wide and pupils dilated. Fireworks look way better on nekra. If I hadn't been totally skint, I'd have been able to shoot up and join them.
Off in the centre of the city, a good few miles away, there would be parades and dances, and singing and cheering and drinking. It was Tamlith Day, the day for flags and national pride. I think it was supposed to be the anniversary of the day the old king got thrown out of the sky, or something like that. Out here, it wasn't like anyone cared.
Experimentally, I swung one foot out over the drop. It would be easy to do, just lean forward and fall. I'd fall right down, onto that little band of rock and soil. Splat. Or, if I wanted to put a little effort in, I could jump. Then I might miss the ground altogether, and fly off into the sky beneath.
I'd always wondered what the city looked like from underneath.
I brought my foot back onto the concrete, bent my knees slightly. Yeah, just enough jump to clear the edge. Finally get out of this godforsaken place.
Someone grabbed my arm. I swung around, snarling.
"Gerroff me!"
My punch knocked her sideways, but she clung to my arm and pulled me down with her. I scrambled up and away from her, growling in the back of my throat.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She pulled herself slowly to her feet, palms raised to face me. I relaxed very slightly, snarl fading to just suspicion.
"What do you want?"
"I, well, I just saw –" She seemed unsure what to say. I used the moment to take in the details: she was dressed pretty normal, old jeans and shirt, but there was less dirt on her face, and her clothes had been mended over the rips. She had a shine in her eyes that I had never seen around here before.
"Saw…"
"I saw you on the edge, and you looked like you were about to jump."
"So what if I was?"
"Well, it would be a waste, right?
"What?"
"Well, you're what, twenty?"
"So what if I am?"
"You've got your whole life, you know?"
I gaped at her.
"I've what?"
"Your whole life. All that wasted potential, you know? You could do great things."
Unfamiliar muscles twitched in my face. I broke a smile, a genuine smile for the first time in weeks, if not months. And I laughed in her face.
"What? I'm not kidding!" She straightened up a bit, defensive.
"Lady, you know where you're standing, right?" I curbed my laughter, looked her right in the eye with my eyebrows raised.
"You ever hear of the Outreach Centre?" She ignored my question. I chose to play with hers.
"No, can't say I did. You ever hear of a lost cause?"
"Doesn't exist."
"Hah."
"Look, the Centre is this place, you know, and they really do help. You know Janine Gallagher?"
"Who?"
"She's an actress. But she started up Outreach to help the outer rings. You know, food and shelter and stuff? And there's an education thing too, but she wants to expand that more."
"Handouts." I folded my arms. "And that helps? Do they hand out nekra too?"
"But that's just it." She stepped closer, hand raised as though to grip my shoulder. I jerked my arm back, and she stopped. The enthusiastic gleam was still in her eyes. "It's about helping you off nekra, going clean and getting a job. About being someone. Getting a life, like I did."
"Huh. If you've got a life, why are you still here?" Bored, I turned away and stalked across the roof. I sat down on the centre-side edge, next to a couple of the guys watching the fireworks. "Hey mate, any going spare?"
The more sober of the two turned very slightly, gave me a look of contempt. "Piss off."
With a sigh, I nodded. Far off in the inner rings, the fireworks were still going, a drum tattoo of explosions. You could even hear the distant rush of cheering, and the heavy bass throb of the music.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the girl sit down next to me.
"My name's Sib," she offered.
I ignored her, kept staring across the city. Even in the dark, the outer rings of towers loomed on the skyline. They said in the centre they had buildings as small as four storeys. I tried to imagine a tower that small.
"I'm twenty-one. Born in Leland Tower, just over there. Two years ago, I was just where you are. Nothing left, except the fall. Outreach found me – they were just starting up – and fed me. They helped me off nekra, and now they employ me."
The sob story. If you didn't have one, you wouldn't be living in the outer ring. Half the towers out here were uninhabitable, officially at any rate. The other half weren't far off, either. I knew of six shops in the ten nearest towers that were still open – every one with metal sheets for windows, selling under-a-dollar goods.
"You know, if I could, I'd take everyone here down to the Centre, and feed and clothe them all, every night. But how many of them would come, when they're high like this? You're the only sober person here. And you're just like I was, when Outreach found me."
I looked down this side of the tower. No swirling clouds here – just the rows of inter-tower bridges, and below that, the concrete.
"How about, you come with me tonight. You get some food, something to drink. And if you still don't like it, well, you can always jump tomorrow, you know?"
Jumping didn't seem as attractive from this side of the tower. I'd seen bodies on the concrete – idiots on a high, getting too close to the edge, or the ones who just couldn't take life anymore.
"Well?"
"Reagan." Hell, it was a long time since I'd said my name out loud. It sounded weird outside my head.
"Cool," she nodded. "Come try life again with me?"
I was still watching the distant ground. In daylight, I'd be able to see the dark points that were people moving around. Further centre-side, I'd be looking at headlights on the bridges. Here, now, it was just black.
"Tell me, then, Sib. What are we living for?"
"I…" She trailed off, frowned. I don't know, I filled in silently.
"Does anybody know?"
"Somebody does," she said. I don't think she'd have said anything else, from the way she was eyeing the distance between my feet and the edge. She touched a hand to my shoulder, very gently. I flinched, but let her do it. Her touch, even through my grime-encrusted shirt, made me realise how hot I was – I'd felt shivery. Hell, I needed a hit.
"Fine, then. Show me this damn Outreach."